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Week forty five – ‘no sunglasses’

There’s something about sitting still and listening to the silence. I haven’t done this for a long time. So when we were given the space to just be with God, not necessarily speaking but just being at the young adult’s retreat, it was a fresh experience.

I walked down the road and found a spot to sit. This was my view:

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In the sitting, I suddenly became aware of my surroundings. Magpies warbled. Something was rustling in the undergrowth. Tiny flies were flitting around my head. Ants were scurrying about in the dirt. The air was crisp and new. Bugs scampered around my shoes. The sun ducked in and out of clouds. A dog barked. The smell of freshly cut grass wafted on the breeze.

The moment I was spending in the quiet and stillness of the day couldn’t be captured by an Instagram photo or a status update. There was something REAL in that moment, something that brought a tear to my eye as I thanked God for slowing me down so I could actually appreciate where I was.

I’ll be the first to admit I often live life with sunglasses on – I see things with only shadowed perception and my peripherals are compromised…but in that moment of sitting by the side of the road, at the top of a hill in the middle of a Saturday, I was reminded if the intricate wonder of creation & my place in it.

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Week nine – ‘motivation: where for art thou?’

I don’t know if it’s just me, but has anyone else found that they hit ‘the wall’ in terms of having motivation to do stuff sometimes? And I’m not necessarily talking about anything in particular – though I have definitely neared the end of my tank of study-related motivation! But just ‘stuff’ in general…you know, turning up at things, doing housework, cooking, changing out of pyjamas each day. Stuff. Life. Doing stuff. Being places. Talking. Stuff.

I sometimes get to a point where all I do is whinge. I only have enough in me to let out a whingey gripe or a whiney complaint. I often get to this point after I’ve been doing something repetitive for an extended period of time. In this case – lectures, study and homework. It’s been 8 weeks of work. That’s 2 months. And it’s not quite over yet! I’ve still got to gather up some strength and brain power to forge on for a bit longer…except that I feel a bit like I’m tuning out too early!

A friend recently leant me season 2 of ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ and while I love that show, I really should have held off on watching it! I’m acting a bit like I don’t have things to do, places to be and people to see. Whoops! Then I justified it saying I used it as background noise or episodes as mini breaks between readings and assignments…but who am I kidding really?! I’m just watching it. 😉

Anyway, as I was saying – I start letting loose with the negative talk. ‘Gosh, they’re so annoying!’ ‘Man, they are a shocking driver!’ ‘I don’t want to go, it’s stupid!’ ‘Why should I?’ ‘I can’t be bothered, I don’t enjoy it.’ ‘No, you are!’ I’m such a teenage drama queen! But it’s when I get to this point that God brings a moment across my path that forces me to chill out.

Today was that day. I dropped hubby at work in the city and had an hour and a bit to kill before a brunch. So, donning my sneakers and opening a LifeChurch podcast, I walked. The sun was out, the birds were friendly, joggers were jogging and dogs were…dogging? It was a beautiful morning for a walk. And the podcast was well timed too! (Cheers, God) Cultivating a culture of Christ-centredness in your family by being a Christ-centred individual. Who better than to draw me out of my motivational-funk than God? I want to live in His Word, in His plan, in His motivation. When I feel empty, there’s a reason for that and the only way to top back up is to head to the wellspring of life, right?

His timing is truly remarkable…I hope and pray that this is just the beginning of a revitalisation of my motivation – and I’m not just talking about study this time!

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