brain farts

Dream on

It’s been a while since I tapped out a blog…it’s been a while since I read a blog too! Actually, if I think about it, it’s been a while since I’ve read ANYTHING…that’s not good. I love reading – always have. As a kid, I was so into books and stories and reading that I’d take a book just about anywhere! Every school holidays, I’d have a sleepover at my grandparents and my Grandma would take me to op-shops and second hand bookstores and we’d hunt for the authors and stories that I loved…they are some of my fondest memories!

My affinity for the written word carried well on into my teens and young adulthood. I took a creative writing class in University and have several – make that many – unfinished pieces on my laptop and iPad. I’ve been to meet-the-author evenings; I’ve had email conversations with several authors and have even had the odd short peice published here and there, just locally. I am now a qualified English teacher – specialising in teaching English to speakers of other languages – because I love words and how they fit together to create conversation, story, ideas and convey dreams…

Dreams…

This brings me to why I felt the need to write something tonight…and not just a blog. Today, while my Little E was having her afternoon nap, I found a quiet moment to brew a coffee, sit on the carpet and open a magazine I was given a while ago but never really had the chance to properly devour. Article after article I read spoke about dreams. Passions. Loves. Desires. All things that God has weaved into the fabric of His children…the dreams we have and the passions we’re sparked with are God-given and when we act on those, we bring glory to His name.

So it struck me when so many of the articles I was reading were entrenched with the writer’s passions and dreams…they spoke of following these and seeing them realised in the here and now which is so exciting! They spoke of seeing fruition come from pushing through the fear and the unknowns surrounding these dreams and seeing God’s hand on the outcome…and it made me wonder…what’s my dream? REALLY, what’s my honest-to-goodness dream?

It didn’t take long for an answer to come…I want to write a book and I want it to be published. Always, always have I had this in the very back, dusty corners of my mind…just whittling away the time until I would reach back and embrace it, ready to run!

Now, I have no idea where to start with this…because ‘start’ is a bit of a dark thunder cloud for me. I have started SO MANY different pieces before – different styles, different genres, different lengths, different points of view and even for different purposes in the end – and each has finished the same way…incomplete and saved to a folder I probably won’t open until I need to clear space and delete them. So if this truly is my dream why can’t I see it properly? Why is it so exhausting thinking about it? Is it because of all the failed attempts? Am I simply tired and afraid that it will just be another piece in those unfinished folders, waiting for the trash can click? Quite possibly. I get totally inspired reading articles like those from today, but then I go to put ‘pen to paper’ as it were for myself and I already have writer’s block! *grumble grumble*

There’s a quote that’s fitting here isn’t there? Edison I think – “I have not failed. I have just found 10 000 ways that won’t work.” Fitting. So fitting in fact, it’s like Kim Kardashian in one of those bandaid-tight dresses…so I guess I should listen, right? I mean, I’m hardly at 10 000 written pieces yet so I’ve got a ways to go 😉 blogging is a start, getting the juices going…what’s next? I guess I’ll just have to type and see!

What’s your dream…?

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